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Monday, 10 October 2011

THE DIVAS OF DELHI!!!

THE WORD DIVA ACCORDING TO THE DICTIONARY IS A CELEBRATED FEMALE SINGER!!THE TERM IS USED TO DESCRIBE A WOMAN OF OUTSTANDING TALENT(????!!!) IN THE WORLD OF OPERA,AND BY EXTENSION, IN THEATER,CINEMA AND POPULAR MUSIC(!!!!)THE WORD DIVA IS COGNATE WITH FEMALE DEITY/GODDESS AND WITH THE HINDU TERM "DEVI". IT IS ALSO DERIVED FROM "DIVINE ONE". THE MEANING OF DIVA IS CLOSELY RELATED TO THAT OF "PRIMA DONNA" MEANING THE FIRST LADY GENERALLY IN THE FIELD OF OPERA!
OOPS!! MAJOR BLOOPER/FAUX PAS!IF THAT'S THE TRUE DICTIONARY MEANING OF THE CELEBRATED WORD THEN I AM COMPLETELY OFF TRACK AND HENCE THE QUESTION AND EXCLAMATION MARKS IN THE ABOVE PARAGRAPH. I USE THE TERM DIVA SLIGHTLY DISPARAGINGLY FOR SOMEONE WHO ACTS OVERLY ENTITLED. CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG BUT I AM SURE THAT YOU DO TOO AND BY THAT DEFINITION DELHI IS OVER LOADED WITH DIVAS OF ALL SHAPES AND SIZES,SENSE AND SENSIBILITIES,INANE AND INANITIES,ECCENTRIC AND ECCENTRICITIES.

WALK INTO ANY MALL,SHOP,RESTAURANT,CINEMA HALL YOU WILL FIND HER THERE. SHE'S OMNIPRESENT AND COMPLETELY CONSPICUOUS.USUALLY WITH BLEACHED BLOND HAIR(I WISH SOME BODY WOULD INFORM HER THAT BLOND HAIR COLOR IS OUT-DARK AND NATURAL,HAIR COLOR IS IN!) SHE HAS ON TONS OF PANCAKE,FULL RED FILLED LIPS,DRIPPING DIAMONDS (EVEN IF MOST OF THEM ARE JUST ZIRCONS.) FROM EVERY PORE OF HER EITHER FAKE SUN-TANNED BODY OR THE OVERLY "FAIR N LOVELY" TYPES ,SKIN TIGHT DRESS IN WHICH SHE CAN BARELY BREATHE AND WITH HER AMPLE (USUALLY!) BOSOM SPILLING OUT,HIGH HEELS IN WHICH SHE IS TOTTERING AWAY AND DEFINITELY  AND THIS IS A MUST HAVE, CARRYING A HUGE OVER-SIZED BAG (MORE AKIN TO A MINI SUITCASE) BEARING THE LOGO OF  "GUCCI", "PRADA" AND USUALLY "LOUIS VUITTON" (APPARENTLY EASIEST TO PROCURE WHERE AHEM! AHEM! FIRST COPIES  ARE CONCERNED).


SO THAT'S THE APPEARANCE WHICH ONE CAN STILL OVERLOOK AND SAY 'EACH TO HIS /HER OWN'  BUT WHAT'S WITH THE OBNOXIOUS ATTITUDE?! SHE EXPECTS EVERYONE TO CLICK THEIR HEELS AND STAND AT ATTENTION AS SOON AS MADAME WALKS IN -THAT'S SOMETHING I TOTALLY ABHOR AND CAN'T UNDERSTAND. I WONDER IF WE THE ORDINARY MORTALS ARE JUST SUPPOSED TO BOW DOWN AND DO A FORMAL CURTSY  AND PAY OBEISANCE TO THIS DIVINE BEING IN FRONT OF US??!! NOW  COMES  THE  CONVERSATION AND GREETING BIT-LOTS OF AIR KISSES AND MUAH!THIS AND MUAH!THAT-ALL SAID IN A COMPLETELY FAKE AND PSEUDO AMERICAN TWANG--'ARREY MADAMJEE! POORI ZINDAGI AAPNE SAADI DELHI MEIN GUZARI- PRITAM PURA YA PATEL NAGAR MEIN- TOH AB YE ACCENT KAHAN SE AAYA--PLEASE EXPLAIN KARO.' IT DEFIES LOGIC.

 ANYWAY THEN EVERY SENTENCE IS PRECEDED BY WORDS SUCH AS SWEETIE/BABY/DARLING /HONEY EVEN IF THE ADDRESSOR AND ADDRESSEE ARE SWORN ENEMIES AND CAN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF EACH OTHER AND PRIVATELY WANT TO RIP EACH OTHER'S EYES AND OTHER UNMENTIONABLE BODY PARTS OUT. THEN THE CONVERSATION PROCEEDS TO ENQUIRING ABOUT EACH OTHERS LIFE AND USUALLY THE ONLY WORD I HEAR IS THAT IT'S ROCKING AND I AM A ROCK STAR OR YOU ARE A ROCK STAR AND WE ARE ROCKING. 'ARREY BABA, SORRY BABY! ENGLISH IS SUCH AN EXPANSIVE/DESCRIPTIVE LANGUAGE!IS "ROCKING" THE ONLY ADJECTIVE IN YOUR VOCABULARY'???!!

THEN IT COMES TO DISCUSSING THEIR LATEST ACQUISITION-"MY HUBBY JUST BOUGHT A JAGUAR /TEN CARAT DIAMOND FOR ME" (OBVIOUSLY HE DID! YOU TWIT! HE HAD TO!! HE DID IT TO SAVE HIS HAIRY ARSE FROM COMPLETE ANNIHILATION AS HE BOUGHT A BENTLEY/TWENTY CARAT DIAMOND FOR HIS 'ESPECIAL'  LADY FRIEND WHO MAKES HIM FEEL SOOOO GOOD AHEM!! IN THE NETHER REGION OF HIS BODY!!!)USUALLY THIS IS FOLLOWED BY AN IN-DEPTH DISCUSSION OF THEIR LATEST 'PHOREN BHACATION' AND HOW MUCH 'SHAPPING' THEY DID AND HOW MANY 'DALLARS AND PAUNDS' THEY SPENT IN HARRODS/SELF RIDGES//NEIMAN MARCUS/MACY'S ETC. AND HOW THE AFORE MENTIONED STORES HAD TO RESTOCK THEIR ENTIRE MERCHANDISE ONCE THE HOITY TOITY MADAME HAD FINISHED 'SHAPPING'IN THE RESPECTIVE STORES!! GROAN!!WANT TO JUMP OFF THE NEAREST CLIFF NOW DRAGGING THE PORTLY LADY WITH ME!!


 THE TOPIC THEN THANKFULLY VEERS TO THEIR SOCIAL CALENDERS.AAH! THAT'S ANOTHER LONG AND FANTASTICAL STORY ALTOGETHER.I REALLY WONDER THAT WHEN DO THESE WONDROUS BEAUTIES EVER SLEEP OR READ OR COOK OR BAKE OR  LOOK AFTER THEIR HUBBIES OR KIDS OR PETS OR PLANTS OR EXERCISE.THE ONLY THING THAT THEY DO IS FLIT FROM ONE EVENT TO ANOTHER FROM DAWN TO DUSK! SO IT START'S WITH BREAKFAST AT THE 'SMOKEHOUSE DELI', THEN PROCEEDS TO COFFEE AT THE 'MACHAN' THEN SWITCHES TO LUNCH AT THE 'CHINA KITCHEN' THEN IT'S HIGH TEA AT THE 'OBEROIS' AND THEN IT'S DINNER WITH WINE,'MALAI TIKKA' AND 'DAL MAKHANI' WITH THE HUSBAND AS A PART OF SOME EXTENDED COUPLES KITTY!!! MY DARLINGEST MR. C WOULD MURDER ME IN COLD BLOOD IF I EVER DARE TO EVEN SUGGEST A 'COUPLES KITTY.' WHEW!! JUST WRITING THIS HAS BEEN EXHAUSTING. I DON'T KNOW HOW THE "LAVELY" LADIES MANAGE IT DAY IN AND DAY OUT.I WOULD GO MAD AND MAYBE HAVE A  MINI NERVOUS BREAKDOWN OR SOMETHING IF EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY OF MINE WAS CALENDERED IN AND ACCOUNTED FOR.HATS OFF!!


 NOW LET'S COME TO THEIR ATTIRE.UFFF!! WHAT A TERRIBLE WASTE OF MONEY!! I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY SOMEONE WOULD PAY TENS OF THOUSAND OF RUPEES FOR ONE DRESS MADE BY SOME JACKASS,POMPOUS  DESIGNER WHICH THEN THE "LAVELY MADAMJEE" WILL WEAR TO ONE SOCIETY EVENT AND THEN JUST DISCARD! ARE WE WOMEN JUST WHAT WE WEAR AND THE LATEST DESIGNER DRESS OR LABEL THAT WE FLAUNT WITH SUCH APLOMB??!!  DON'T WE HAVE ANY OTHER IDENTITY?! WHAT ABOUT INDIVIDUALITY,A SENSE OF SELF AND MAYBE SOME GREY MATTER??!! ISN'T THAT INFINITELY MORE PLEASING AND APPEALING?!


FRANKLY I FEEL NOTHING IS MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN A WOMAN WITH BRAINS ,OPINIONS AND A VIEW POINT!! WHO CARES WHETHER SHE'S WEARING A DRESS FROM "ZARA" FOR FIVE GRAND OR A "ROBERT CAVALLI" CREATION COSTING A LAKH! WHAT SHINES THROUGH IS HER INNATE SENSE OF STYLE ,PERSONALITY AND HOW COMFORTABLE SHE IS IN HER OWN SKIN!!SO ULTIMATELY IT'S NOT ABOUT THE CLOTHES YOU WEAR BUT HOW YOU WEAR THEM. IT'S ABOUT THE ATTITUDE HONEY AND THE CONFIDENCE.NOTHING ON EARTH IS MORE APPEALING THAN A WOMAN WHO HAS CONFIDENCE,GRACE AND CAN TALK EYE TO EYE WITH YOU ON A VARIETY OF ISSUES!!!


ANYWAY ENOUGH OF THE "DIVA" BASHING-NOT ALL OF IT IS FAIR AND I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT--IT JUST THAT IT MAKES GOOD COPY THAT'S ALL!! LET ME REITERATE HERE THAT I ALSO KNOW A LOT OF LADIES WHO IN SPITE OF DOING SOME OF THE ABOVE (NOT ALL I HASTILY ADD) ARE VERY SMART,ARTICULATE AND ACCOMPLISHED BEINGS. THEY ARE GREAT WIVES,MOTHERS,FRIENDS,DAUGHTER-IN-LAWS AND SAVVY BUSINESS WOMEN!!SOMETIMES I GUESS WE ALL GIVE IN TO PEER PRESSURE. IT'S NOT FAIR TO GENERALIZE AND I AM DOING JUST THAT!!THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE AND I KNOW PERSONALLY SOME OUTSTANDING EXCEPTIONS.I AM JUST HAVING A LITTLE BIT OF FUN HERE AND HONESTLY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING MALICIOUSLY OR BELOW THE BELT.SO PLEASE DON'T SHOOT OR SHUN ME LADIES.I WILL FOREVER REMAIN YOUR "FRAINND". LOVE YOU SWEETIES!! TAKE CARE AND KEEP ROCKING!!! EACH ONE OF YOU IS A ROCK STAR IN YOUR OWN RIGHT!!!!