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Sunday, 30 October 2011

PHAMILY BACATION!!!!

"PHAMILY BACATION!!!WAH DIDIZEEE!!! BERYY GOOD IDEA!!" THAT'S HOW MY DARLING SANTOSH (MY COOK) EXCLAIMED WHEN I TOLD HIM WEARILY THAT WE WERE GOING AWAY TO KASAULI FOR A FEW DAYS AFTER DIWALI!! I WISH I COULD HAVE MUSTERED THE SAME AMOUNT OF ENTHUSIASM AS HIM!! BUT HOWEVER HARD I TRIED I JUST COULDN'T BECAUSE I KNEW WHAT I HAD IN STORE FOR MYSELF!! FOR THE OTHERS IN THE "PHAMILY" IT WOULD BE A "BACATION" BUT FOR ME A LOT OF WORK AND DRUDGERY!! I WOULD BE THE GENERAL MAID-IN-WAITING WHO WOULD FIRST BE PACKING AND THEN UNPACKING (WHICH MEANT BATTLING THROUGH ENDLESS MOUNDS OF PSYCHEDELIC UNDERWEAR AND FLUORESCENT SOCKS) AND BE BASICALLY AT EVERY ONE'S BECK AND CALL!!! BY THE WAY VERY CURIOUS TO KNOW WHO WEARS PSYCHEDELIC UNDERWEAR AND FLUORESCENT SOCKS??!! WELL MY BRATS DO!! AND THEY WEAR THE SAID UNDERWEAR WITH APLOMB UNDER REALLY LOW SLUNG JEANS THAT ARE VISIBLE TO THE WORLD!! MODESTY WHERE ART THOU?!!ARE YOU LOST FOREVER? I WOULD BE REALLY EMBARRASSED IF MY PANTIES WERE PEAKING OUT FROM UNDER MY JEANS!! BUT I GUESS THIS IS WHAT GENERATION GAP IS ALL ABOUT!!

SANTOSH DARLING AND HIS MOTLEY CREW WERE THRILLED! NO DIDI ZI MEANT NO WORK AND FULL TIME MASTEEE SO HE MOUNTED A FULL SCALE ATTACK TO CONVINCE ME THAT I NEEDED A LONGER BRAKE (BREAK) THEN WAS PLANNED AND WAS WARKING TOO HARD AND WAS LOOKING BARY (VERY) BEAK (WEAK). HE SAID THAT THE BOUNTAIN (MOUNTAIN) AIR WOULD DO ME GOOD AND I MUST HAVE THE "GUDD KI ROTIS WITH DESI GHEE" TO REGAIN MY STRANGTH!!! ANYWAYS IN SPITE OF HIS BEST EFFORTS WE DIDN'T EXTEND OUR PLANS AND STUCK STEADFASTLY TO THE APPOINTED FOUR DAYS!! AND THE GUDD KI ROTIS WERE INDEED GREAT AND I BECAME ADDICTED TO THEM AND HAD THEM FOR BREAKFAST,LUNCH AND DINNER! THAT'S ANOTHER STORY ALTOGETHER AND WILL WRITE IT LATER! CAN JUST TELL YOU THAT HAVE COME BACK FIVE POUNDS HEAVIER AND THE ONLY THING FITTING MY AMPLE WAIST RIGHT NOW ARE MY VERY ELASTIC TIGHTS IN BLUE,BLACK AND GREY!!!THE JEANS I HAVE KEPT AWAY!! CANT EVEN SQUEEZE INTO THEM AT THE MOMENT!!!I AM MY TRAINERS NIGHTMARE RIGHT NOW!!!

SO AFTER STRUGGLING THROUGH MOUNDS OF CLOTHES,BOOKS,I-PODS,VIDEO GAMES,SHOES AND THE AFORE MENTIONED SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR, I FINALLY MANAGED TO SQUEEZE EVERYTHING INTO THREE LARGE SUITCASES (PLEASE NOTE THAT WE WERE ONLY GOING FOR FOUR DAYS!)WE FINALLY ARRIVED AT THE NEW DELHI RAILWAY STATION TO CATCH THE SHATABDI TO CHANDIGARH AT THE UNEARTHLY HOUR OF SEVEN AM (UNEARTHLY ACCORDING TO THE "KUMBHKARANS" IN MY PHAMILY). I MUST TELL YOU THAT I REALLY CONGRATULATED MYSELF  ON THAT ONE!!

HAD ACTUALLY GIVEN UP ALL HOPE AT SIX A.M AND HAD ALMOST SHATTERED POOR SANTOSH'S HEART TO SMITHEREENS WHEN TOLD HIM THAT PHAMILY BACATION CANCELLED SINCE THE PHAMILY FAST ASLEEP AND REFUSING TO BUDGE AND GET OUT OF BED!!MUST TELL YOU THAT HAVE NEVER SEEN SANTOSH MOVE SO FAST IN THE FIVE YEARS THAT HE HAS WORKED FOR US AND WITH SO MUCH ALACRITY AND PURPOSE!!! HE MADE IT HIS LIFE'S MISSION TO ROUSE ALL THE SLEEPY HEADS AND BUNDLED THEM INTO THE LOO TO WASH UP AND EVEN HELPED THEM TO GET DRESSED!! WOW!! EVEN SUPER MAN WOULD HAVE BEEN IMPRESSED AT HIS NOBLENESS OF MISSION AND SELFLESSNESS OF THOUGHT!!!WELL THANKS TO HIS SUSTAINED AND MONUMENTAL EFFORTS THE PHAMILY DID MANAGE TO STRUGGLE OUT OF BED (VERY UNHAPPILY THOUGH) AND MADE ITS GRUMPY,ILL TEMPERED WAY TO THE STATION.

WELL THE SHATABDI EXPRESS ARRIVED AT ITS APPOINTED HOUR AND THE CHADHA FAMILY KEPT THE FAMILY FLAG FLYING HIGH BY IMMEDIATELY PLUNGING INTO UTTER CHAOS AND CONFUSION!!! THE TICKETS WERE MYSTERIOUSLY MISPLACED BY MR.C AND COULDN'T BE FOUND IN SPITE OF COUNTLESS AND VERY THOROUGH BODY SEARCHES,THE GODDAMN COOLIE DISAPPEARED LEAVING US WITH THE GARGANTUAN SUITCASES,BRAT NUMBER ONE WAS SUDDENLY RAVENOUSLY HUNGRY AND WANTED INSTANT GRATIFICATION IN TERMS OF CHEESE PATTIES, BRAT NUMBER TWO SUDDENLY WANTED TO TAKE AN URGENT POOP AND COULDN'T HOLD ON EVEN FOR TEN MINUTES AND YOURS TRULY HAD A SUDDEN FAINTING SPELL (MAYBE DUE TO ALL THE STRESS OF PACKING AND LACK OF SLEEP!)

ANYWAYS WONDERS OF WONDERS WE DID MANAGE TO BOARD THE TRAIN AS ONE UNIT ,THOUGH MR.C COMPLAINED VERY VOCIFEROUSLY THAT HE HAD DISLOCATED A SHOULDER AND SLIPPED A DISC WHILE LIFTING THE BLOODY SUITCASES. WE ALSO FINALLY FOUND THE TICKETS WRAPPED UP IN TEN FOLDS INSIDE HIS WALLET, BOUGHT THE GODDAMN,OILY PATTIES AND ALSO BRAT NUMBER TWO AFTER MUCH WAILS AND PROTESTS MANAGED TO TAKE A DUMP IN THE STINKY,VOMIT INDUCING SHATABDI LOO WHILE I HELD HIS NOSE TIGHTLY AND ADVISED HIM TO BREATHE THROUGH HIS MOUTH.

SO MUST SAY THAT THE START OF THE JOURNEY WAS PRETTY MOMENTOUS BUT THINGS THANKFULLY SETTLED DOWN ONCE WE WERE COMFORTABLY ENCONSED IN OUR SEATS!! THE JOURNEY WAS FAIRLY PLEASANT MUCH TO MY SURPRISE AND WE ARRIVED WITHOUT ANY MAJOR MISHAP AT THE CHANDIGARH STATION. FROM THERE WE CAUGHT A CAB AND MADE OUR SLOW,UPHILL CLIMB TO KASAULI. IT TOOK US THREE HOURS AND THREE STOPS BUT WE MADE IT THERE AND ONCE WE WERE THERE IT WAS LIKE LITERALLY ALL MY TROUBLES AND STRESS MELTED AWAY INTO THE PURE MOUNTAIN AIR. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND VERDANT,THE AIR SO CRISP AND NIPPY,THE PEOPLE SO SIMPLE AND SMILING,THE FOOD SO BASIC AND DELICIOUS,THE GRASS SO GREEN AND THE FLOWERS-SO MANY FLOWERS-SO COLORFUL AND BRIGHT!! ALL THIS COMPLETELY LIFTED MY SPIRITS AND I FELT SO AT ONE WITH NATURE.FELT THIS DEEP SENSE OF CALM AND PEACE WHICH I HAVEN'T FELT FOR SOME TIME.

THE NEXT FOUR DAYS WERE SPENT IN EATING,SLEEPING,READING AND GOING FOR LONG WALKS (ACCORDING TO THE CHADHA PHAMILY'S LOFTY STANDARDS) AND PASSED QUITE QUICKLY AND PLEASANTLY. FOR ONCE THE BRATS WERE NOT GLUED TO THEIR T.V SCREENS OR LAPTOPS AND EVEN IGNORED THEIR MYRIAD NINTENDOS,PLAY STATIONS AND D.S'S!! THEY ACTUALLY PLAYED OUTDOOR SPORTS LIKE FOOTBALL,BADMINTON AND CRICKET. THEY READ COMICS AND MAGAZINES AND HAD DAL CHAWAAL WITHOUT CREATING A FUSS. IT WAS BLISSFUL AND THE BACATION PASSED ALL TOO QUICKLY AND THEN SUDDENLY IT WAS TIME TO COME BACK HOME. FOR ONCE WAS VERY REGRETFUL THAT HADN'T TAKEN SANTOSH'S ADVICE AND EXTENDED THE BACATION. ANYWAY ARRIVED BACK HOME LAST NIGHT AND THAT WAS PRETTY PLEASANT TOO!! NOTHING LIKE SLEEPING IN YOUR OWN BED CURLED UP UNDER YOUR FAVE BLANKET. HAPPY AND RESTED NOW!! ALL READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD!! BRING IT ON!!