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Sunday, 16 October 2011

"SWITTY SWITTY SWITTY TERA PYAAR CHAHIDA!"

LOVE THE ABOVE LINES FROM A SONG IN "DELHI BELLY". IN FACT LOVE THE MOVIE. MUST HAVE WATCHED IT FIVE-SIX TIMES ALREADY. APART FROM THE BEEP-BEEP LANGUAGE AND THE OVERT TOILET/POTTY HUMOUR, ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES THIS YEAR. THOUGHT VIJAY RAAZ-THE VILLAIN-WAS BRILLIANT WITH HIS UNDERSTATED AND SUBDUED MENACE!! SUCH A FAR CRY FROM THE REGULAR GUN-BRANDISHING, POMPOUS, EGOISTIC VILLIANS OF THE REGULAR HINDI MOVIES! LOVED THE JOURNALIST BABE-SORRY HAVE FORGOTTEN HER NAME-THE ONE WHO IMRAN KHAN EVENTUALLY HOOKS UP WITH! SHE WASN'T STUNNING LOOKING OR ANYTHING BUT SOMETHING ABOUT HER WAS STILL SO APPEALING AND ATTRACTIVE.SHE WAS JUST SO COOL,CHILLED,BINDAAS,CONFIDENT AND SHE HAD AN INTELLIGENT AIR ABOUT HER. I ADMIRE PEOPLE WHO LOOK COMFORTABLE IN THEIR OWN SKIN AND SHE DID!!!

SHERNAZ TREASURYWALA DID A GOOD JOB TOO WITH HER BIMBETTE ACT AND VACUOUS LOOK!! SHE WAS PRICELESS WITH THE BROWN PAPER BAG ON HER HEAD,YELPING LIKE A LITTLE,LOST PUPPY WITH HER BOSOM HEAVING DRAMATICALLY!! LOVED THE FAT GUY TOO WITH THE STOMACH UPSET WHO WAS CONSTANTLY FARTING AND CRAPPING! EVEN THE CURLY HAIRED AD GUY WAS BRILLIANT--SORRY! REALLY BAD WITH NAMES! IMRAN KHAN FINALLY PROVED HIMSELF AND DID HIS UNCLE, THE REDOUBTABLE AAMIR KHAN PROUD!! ALL IN ALL A REALLY MAST MOVIE!!!

SORRY I ALWAYS GET SIDE TRACKED!! I KNOW YOU PEOPLE ARE NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN A FILM CRITIQUE! NIKHAT KAZMI DOES AN ADMIRABLE JOB!!NOW THAT BRINGS US BACK TO THE ISSUE OR THE SWITTY AT HAND WHOSE PYAAR I OR YOU CHAHIDA (WANT)! SORRY MY PUNJABI IS ABYSMAL BUT AS LONG AS YOU GET THE DRIFT I GUESS IT'S FINE!! 

LET ME ASK YOU-MY FRIENDS-THAT WHY IS IT THAT THE SWITTIES(HE/SHE),THE MOMENT THEY REALISE THAT WE ARE SWITT ON THEM,START ACTING PRICEY??? IS IT NORMAL HUMAN TENDENCY?IS IT MAPPED IN OUR GENETIC/BEHAVIOURAL CODE?IS IT OUR  OUR BASIC NATURE AS HUMAN-BEINGS,THAT THE MOMENT WE GET SOMETHING THAT WE ARE ASPIRING FOR,WE LOSE ALL VALUE FOR IT AND IT BECOMES ROUTINE,HO-HUM/BORING AND WE START TAKING IT FOR GRANTED??!!


THAT ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS IN THE END IS THE CHASE,THE CHALLENGE? AS LONG AS YOU KEEP THEM DANGLING,HOPING,GUESSING AND PANTING, THE SWITTIES ARE INTO YOU! THE MOMENT YOU START RECIPROCATING/RESPONDING AND START BATTING YOUR EYELIDS BACK AT THEM, THE BRAIN-DEAD SWITTIES LOSE INTEREST AND START ASPIRING FOR SOME OTHER BRAIN-DEAD SWITTY!!! DUH!!! WHAT IS THIS? IT'S DISGUSTING,DISAPPOINTING,DISORIENTING,CONFUSING AND SOMETIMES DOWN RIGHT HEART BREAKING!! AND GIVING RISE TO A  VERY DANGEROUS TREND OF THE MOST DANGEROUS OF GAMES KNOWN AS THE MIND GAMES!!! NOW MIND GAMES ARE A DIFFERENT BALL GAME ALTOGETHER AND AS CONFOUNDING AND SOMETIMES AS INTERESTING AS CHESS!


LET ME ELABORATE HERE!! FIRSTLY IF YOU WANT TO INDULGE IN MIND GAMES YOU HAVE TO COMMIT TO IT-IN TERMS OF TIME-LOTS OF TIME-BECAUSE TO WEAR SOMEONE DOWN TO YOUR POINT OF VIEW TAKES TIME!! IT TAKES TIME FOR THE DUMB SWITTY TO ACTUALLY REALISE AS TO HOW GREAT AND AMAZING YOU ARE FOR THEM!THERE CAN BE NOTHING HURRIED OR RUSHED ABOUT IT! YOU HAVE TO PLAY IT COOL, VERY COOL, BE ALMOST DISINTERESTED IN THE SWITTY!!! GIVE HIM/HER DISINTERESTED, HAUGHTY VIBES,PLAY HARD TO GET, ALWAYS SEEM BUSY WITH SOME OTHER ENGAGEMENT!! IN SHORT DON'T SHOW ANY INTEREST OR ATTACHMENT!!! SOUNDS REALLY CONTRADICTORY, DOESN'T IT? WHEN ALL THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO IS RUSH INTO THE SWITTYS ARMS AND SLOBBER HIM/HER WITH KISSES AND PROCLAIM UNDYING LOVE AND AFFECTION!!! BUT BABY BELIEVE ME THAT THE FORMER WORKS BETTER THAN THE LATTER!! SAD BUT TRUE!!

 
IT'S ALL A QUESTION OF SUPPLY AND DEMAND! IT'S PLAIN ECONOMICS!! WHEN SUPPLY IS LESS THE DEMAND GOES UP AND THE COMMODITY (SORRY! I KNOW AN AWFUL WORD!) BECOMES MORE VALUABLE AND THEREFORE CONVERSELY WHEN SUPPLY IS MORE THE DEMAND GOES DOWN AND THE COMMODITY DEPRECIATES IN VALUE!!! IT'S ELEMENTARY MY DEAR WATSON!!


SO MORAL OF THE STORY PLAY HARD TO GET!!! GIVE SNOOTY, TOO BUSY VIBES, DON'T BE AVAILABLE PANTING ON THE PHONE ALL THE TIME ACTING LIKE AN EAGER BEAVER, HAVE A LIFE OF YOUR OWN, HAVE IMPRESSIVE SOUNDING HOBBIES-FOR INSTANCE-OH!I AM INTO WILD LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY OR I AM SAVING THE POLAR BEARS OR I AM MOON LIGHTING AS A WALL STREET JOURNALIST OR SOMETHING AS IMPOSSIBLE/IMPRESSIVE SOUNDING AS THAT!

 
ABOVE ALL VALUE AND CHERISH YOUR FRIENDS.THE FRIENDS WHO HAVE BEEN AROUND FOREVER, WHO HAVE SHARED THE GOOD AND THE NOT SO GOOD TIMES WITH YOU.YOUR FRIENDS ARE THE ONES WHO HAVE STUCK WITH YOU THROUGH YOUR P.M.S, UN-CALLED FOR TANTRUMS,OSCILLATING MOOD SWINGS(ASSUMING YOU ARE A WOMAN) AND THROUGH YOUR RECKLESS TESTOSTERONE FUELED MAD ANTICS (IF YOU ARE A MAN). THE LATTER FRANKLY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE!KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE TO YOUR HEART. THEY WILL BE THE ONES CELEBRATING YOUR LOVE STORY AND POPPING OPEN BOTTLES OF CHAMPAGNE, IF IT WORKS OUT WITH THE SWITTY AND IF YOU LEARN THE ABOVE LESSONS WELL OR WIPING YOUR TEARS AND GIVING YOU A CUSHION AND ICE PACK TO SIT ON IF YOU GET A RESOUNDING KICK IN YOUR BUTT BY YOUR SWITTY AND YOUR BUTT IS SORE!!!

 
BUT REMEMBER EVERY STRATEGY HAS ITS DOWNSIDES AS WELL. SO DON'T OVER DO IT! TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING IS BAD-I HAVE LEARNT THAT FROM COLD,HARD EXPERIENCE SO BACK DOWN AND SOFTEN WHEN YOU SEE THE POOR,DAZED SWITTY WILTING AND GIVING UP HOPE! AND THEN JUST EMBRACE THEM (LITERALLY AS WELL AS FIGURATIVELY!) AND MAKE THEM FEEL SO SPECIAL THAT THEY NEVER WANT TO LET YOU OR THAT FEELING GO! YOU CAN ONLY MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU WHEN YOU LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!! GOLDEN WORDS TO LIVE BY AND ADHERE TO MY DEAR FRIENDS!! WISHING YOU ALL THE LUCK IN YOUR QUEST FOR THE ELUSIVE SWITTY!! JAI HIND!