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Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Truth, honesty, integrity, friendship,loyality....and other such inconvenient stuff!!

Relationships are so transient now-a-days. Here today and gone tomorrow. Does anything have any real meaning or is it just a figment of our imagination? Are we increasingly living in a more and more morally bankrupt society where nothing really matters excepting money,material possessions and the physical manifestation of the same? Where  words like loyalty, integrity,truth,togetherness are all malleable and easily shoved under the rug depending on the situation and circumstances. Is it  just about fancy homes, fancy cars,exotic vacations,pricey jewels or do real relationships count? 

Or do we just indulge ourselves and our collective conscience by thinking that we have solid and enduring relationships with people who matter to us? Do we really? Will those relationships stand the test of time,the burden of expectations,sticking with each other through thick and thin? Till death do us apart? I don't think so! Not even when you are related by blood! Even there, one keeps hearing about brothers cheating each other, in extreme cases killing each other, families locked in disputes for decades over property, jewellery,bank balances and what have you.

All this and more is making me feel increasingly more disillusioned and sad and i am doing a lot of introspection and soul searching.  What is really important to us anymore? Everything now is really about convenience and nothing more. Today you are in my life because i am convenient to you, i make your life easier, comfortable and enjoyable and vice versa. The day i become inconvenient and start making demands or have expectations from you-you will be gone-poof! into thin air!!! And i am not just talking about a marriage here-i am talking about friendships as well. As long as a mutual purpose is served, a common goal is being achieved, a friendship/relationship survives. The moment the balance tilts there's acrimony and bitterness. There are very few exceptions. That's a hard fact that we all have to accept however painful it might be!!

 There's no escaping it. In today's fast paced lifestyle we barely make time for our kids. Kids that we brought into this world voluntarily and usually as a result of a loving act. There's always something more important to do than to be really and i mean really be with them in the sense when they have our full attention and focus. We always have a meeting to attend, an important email to send,urgent face booking or blogging to do or a kitty party to go to, a juicy phone conversation to have,sometimes even a goddamn 'saas bahu' serial on the idiot box to watch. So we detract and distract. But is that fair and what are teaching our children -that every thing else is more important than that human connection! What will they really learn and imbibe from us?

What about our parents? Tell me honestly how many of us call them everyday to chat with them and find out how they are? All that it takes is two minutes but how many of us actually make that effort? I bet less than twenty percent of us. That's pathetic,really pathetic because in the end what do our parents really want from us-some time,a little attention and a dollop of caring. Do we remember the little and big sacrifices they made for us or has all that dimmed and faded with the passage of time? But who really cares? We are too busy,too stressed making that extra buck or getting that promotion or trying to acquire a more lucrative contract or competing with the neighbouring Mrs Gupta or Mrs Mehta to be younger,slimmer,richer,more popular!!! 

Why are divorces, extra marital affairs,break up of partner-ship businesses,attrition in corporate jobs so rampant and common place today? Why has it become so 'ho hum' and acceptable to us as a society that we don't even react to it anymore? Because we have stopped caring-we have become a selfish,self centric society where instant gratification matters the most. Nobody has the time or the energy or even the inclination to be patient anymore or be kind or even listen. We have lost all the gentleness of yesteryear's-we have become a harsh,crude,crass,unruly,in disciplined  people who just want it and want it all and want it now and want it at any cost!! And the cost is usually our relationships that completely go down the tube.

 But the universal truth of life is that we cant have it all-however much we try or strive or focus. We usually have to give up something,let go off something. We have to sacrifice or compromise somewhere.And by being willing every time to just sacrifice our most important human relationships we are not only doing a grave injustice to people most important to us but we are doing a graver injustice to ourselves as a whole!!

  To quote Ghalib, "kabhi kisiko mukkamal jahan nahi milta....kahin zameen nahin to kahin aasman nahi milta." That is self explanatory but another one of his which i really love "lest we forget:it is easy to be human, very hard to be humane". So let's try to be more humane in everything that we do. Let's just pause and give that smile or that gentle touch or that listening ear or sometimes just eye contact is enough. Let's try to be more compassionate and accepting of each others follies and failings and to QUIT THE RAT RACE!!!  Even if you win the goddamn race, you will still be a rat!!!!