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Wednesday, 14 December 2011

CHAMAK-CHALLO!! YEAH I CONFESS! I WANT THAT TO BE ME!!

Hi folks! How's everybody doing? Haven't written in a while -well that's because i have been too busy- socialising!!! Eating,drinking,gossipping,shopping and yes thankfully also working out!! And miracles of miracles have finally lost some weight-Yippee! Yay! Yay! Will finally fit into the dratted minuscule dress that i bought in London many aeon's ago which cost a bloody bomb and which for so many months just sat in my closet mocking me every time i even looked at it calling me fatty! Moti! Tondu-mal!Tun-Tun! And even refused to budge down my bloody shoulders!! Crap! Crap! Crap!

Well,i am happy to inform you that finally i will be able to don that bitch of a dress  and preen in it without sucking/holding my breath and almost dying of suffocation in the process, for hopefully some grand New Years eve bash, wherever it happens!Just keeping my fingers crossed that it (the bash) actually happens and I'm not stuck at home with two surly kids, a forever grouchy husband,Doordarshan and Domino's pizza!! Please someone invite me for a party!!! Sob! Sob!! Just kidding folks and putting on my usual tragedy queen act!!

 Actually my social calender is bursting at the seams and my driver-Mr. Shivnarayan- is thoroughly fed up of me!! He's totally sick of carting me from place A to place B to place C and back to place A and wistfully talks with any one who cares to listen about the good-ole days when he was doing sahib's duty instead of memsahib's who's nothing but a social butterfly (please appreciate my honesty! ahem!ahem!) and as to how seedha his sahib is and how hard working and how easy its to do sahib's duty which just involves ferrying the grouchy sahib to and fro from office--baaki time chutti Shivnarayanji ke liye-kharantey maaro seat neechey karke ya radio suno aur bhuna mungfali khao!!

Anyway, who cares about the ruddy driver-he can take a hike in the nearest woods he can find or go fly a kite or whatever takes his fancy!!Touch wood ,i am just feeling very good these days. I think it's got to do something with the weather--winters in Delhi are just awesome! It's cold but not too cold and everything looks so fresh and green and lovely. I love wearing my stockings, tights, boots and mufflers and just heading out in the middle of the day to some nice,outdoorsy place for lunch or coffee or just dessert! I love sitting outdoors in  the meetha-meetha dhoop as my darling naani calls it and chatting nineteen to the dozen with my girlfriends! We talk about everything and believe me we eat everything!

My darling friend, Sexy Shal,will vouch for it!! She gets amazed when we meet for our monthly girlie lunches ,at the quantum and variety of food we ingest!! We would put the Romans to shame! How we feast and drink as if there's no tomorrow!!! The poor gal is left dumbfounded and stuffed to the gills!! She says that she cant bear to have a morsel of food for two days after we meet because she has binged so much with us!! Maybe will now give her a strip of Pudin-hara or Zentac as a back present from the girlie-lunches! But what the hell! My motto in life is to khao,piyo aur mast raho!Dieting-shieting mein kya rakha hain! The more you deprive yourself the more you want of the deprived goody!

 So eat well,don't deny yourself and work out regularly!That's it! That's the mantra of looking good and feeling happy! Hate the look of those anorexic,waif thin,haggard looking auntie types roaming around in their size-zero figures and size-negative grey matter! "Nahi ji hum toh sirf do patey salad ke hi khakar kush hain"! What bullshit! Is it just about your bloody weight? What about the glow on your face or the radiance of your persona which comes through when you are truly contented,well fed and satisfied?? Cant figure it out! Anyway each to their own! Why should i care!! I toh will have my soup,salad ,pasta and chocolate lava cake! So what if later i get my arse kicked in by my very dhookhi trainer at the gym!! It's worth it!! I am worth it!!

Another thing that i am coming to terms with is that i am not going to feel guilty anymore about splurging or pampering or indulging myself or having a good time! What the hell! Why the shit not?? Am i just a wife or mom or daughter or sister??!!Is that my only identity??No, a resounding no!! I am not just that! I am also a woman-a human-being with my own individuality and opinions and eccentricities!I am me and now i am not going to apologise or be sheepish or be embarrassed about anything that's me!!This is the way i am-take it or leave it honey! The choice is yours! I deserve to be irreverent,silly, frivolous and superfluous at times! I am so sick of being the mature,serious ,responsible adult all the time-of having to live up to expectations-of always wanting to set a good example! It's just so exhausting and draining! Sometimes it feels so good to be bad,to be naughty,to be bitchy,to be selfish!Being the good girl always, is such a weight on ones shoulders and one which i am not willing to carry all the time! I deserve some time off-we all need a break to recharge and re-energise and indulge the devil within!! Don't u think?? We all deserve to have some fun and keep our basic spirit alive! 

 I now want to let my hair down and have a ball. I want to be stupid and funny and immature. I want to laugh at me and make other people laugh with me. I want to enjoy my life and whatever years of youth that are left. In either case,another decade and i am over the hill! So i want to hold on desperately to whatever vestige of high spirits and effervescence that's left in me. I want to party and i want to dance and i want to have a ball. I want to make up (with girlfriends who i have fought with and past boy friends who i have broken up with) and make out ( preferably with George Clooney or Farhan Akhtar types!! Ha! Ha! Just kidding!)!

I want to run,jump and skip.I don't want to be told what to do and how to do it and to hold back!I want to let go and be let off! I want to do and then maybe think. I don't want to worry or fret or fume! I want to be brash,rash,spontaneous and impulsive. I am sick to death of planning ,prioritising and scheduling.  I want to dance to Chamak-challo and frankly now i want to be a Chamak-challo!!I want to be pretty and sexy and have gals envying me and guys drooling after me!! I care a rats ass if people think i am going through a mid-life crisis  and trying to relive my youth! So what?! It's only mid-life and not end-life!!!!! Khao,piyo,jiyo aur bajao (gaana i meant! you sick,naughty people!!) Get a life people!! Stop being slaves!!

So go out, feel the sunshine on your face,breathe in the fresh air, eat,drink,make merry,make love,laugh,smile,cry!! Live and do not just exist!!! It will all be over too soon my friend!!!Make the final act count! Be loved and missed and remembered!! Be unforgettable because that's what you deserve!